A letter to my friends....

Dear Friends,

I feel like at times I can be a sucky friend, I disappear sometimes or you may not hear from me regularly, but just know I do think about y'all all the time and I do love all of you.

Basically the past year or so my life has gone through a few major changes. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance it all. 

There is plenty of times when I just want to text or call one of you but I feel like you'll be busy or have no interest in hearing about my problems or whatever is going on with me. I feel like everyone has better things to do than listen to me talk. IDK who to talk to anymore about anything. I feel like no one will understand or I start to feel judged because it's hard to be lighthearted and fun 24/7. So previously my solution was to just not talk about any of it with any of you. 

I can't already hear some of you saying that I AM CRAZY to feel that way but it's truly how I feel on a regular basis. I get sad and I get angry and I keep it in. 

I'm not good at asking for help or reaching out to people in a more vulnerable way but I think I need a little help from my friends. I do love hanging out with you all and I do miss seeing you all, I just get so caught up with everything then I look at the calendar and realize that its been months since i've see on talked to any of you. So friends all I will say now is, remember me.

Love 

Leni, Lynelephant, Lenabell, Leni Pooh, Lenster 

Leni vs. Snow

My street when the snow started falling.

I've lived in Maryland my whole life so I've experience a blizzard at almost every stage of my life. The blizzard of 1996 I was almost 6 years old, my brother was about to turn 2 and I remember my cousins were at our house and we spend as much time as we could playing in the snow.

Me and my cousins playing in the snow.

Fast forward to my pre-teen/teen years, we just moved to Hagerstown and BOOM snow. This mean endless shoveling with my step-dad and brothers. I still occasionally played in the snow but it was not the top of my list the same way it had been in elementary school. Also being stuck in the house and not being able to see your friends got old real quick and having limited computer access didn't help. (AOL instant messenger username AngelChickLeni) lol 

The next really crazy blizzard I can remember was in 2010. I was in my second year of college and I remember we'd had some light snow that year but we were really prepared for the blizzard that was being dropped on us. I had a few friends who went home for the weekend. I'm still not sure if they planned it thinking they be better off at home during the storm or if it was just bad timing on their part. Essentially the night it snowed was the kick off a campus wide party they felt never ending at the time. There was a campus wide "snow ball fight" on one of the fields on campus. 

My snowball fight attire

I didn't have any of my actual snow gear with me but I made due with my pea coat and "fuggs". I wore 3 pairs of socks with plastic bags wrapped around my feet. I put my phone and camera in a plastic bag in my coat pocket and I attached my ID to my keys. It was almost like being 6 years old again. I didn't have to shovel and all my friends were right there.

You could of swore Kia and I were posing for our mixtape. lol 

I would also like to point out I was sober in the snow, I was still only 19. 

The snow got old real quick. We missed about a week or so of classes, I slipped on my way to get food every time, and that snow storm is the reason I will not play monopoly until I have children. (seriously I played maybe 10-20 monopoly games while being snowed in)

Now we have this blizzard that just hit us, a few feet of snow at least. This is the first crazy snow storm I've had to deal with while living on my own. Unfortunately we weren't really prepared for it and by prepared I mean we never got a shovel. lol. Also I didn't think we were actually going to get this much snow. 

When I opened by back door towards the end of the snow storm.

I was, and kind of still am, snowed in. After the snow stopped I decided I needed to "shovel" my way out but without a shovel, so I used my mop bucket. Sounds kind of crazy but I made it pretty far on Sunday night with my bucket.

My trusty mop bucket.

After working from home I went back out to my steps with my bucket and got to work. I made it another third of the way down when my Mother-in-law, Father-in-law, and Rover (My other "brother-in-law) dropped off a shovel to me. 

My bucket progress. 

Me and My Bucket

After I got the shovel I finished getting down my steps, made a path for myself through the yard and to my car. Digging my car out was a whole other workout and I still can't move it because people dumped there snow in the middle of the alley. 

Before I went to town with the shovel.

When I made it to the bottom of the steps with my shovel. Don't I look thrilled.

My pathway through the yard.

My car all snowed in.

When I shoveled around the car and realized I wasn't going anywhere until some of this melts. 

The Point....

The point of my ranting is there is no point....I do not intend to start some conversation these are just my opinions, feelings, and experiences on various situations in my life. I never expect the world to say "My goodness I agree with you, YES!" Honestly I fully expect someone to read what I have written and get offended and proceed to comment thinking I care. (Pro Tip: I DON'T)  Everyone is entitled to there opinions. These are mine, from my point of view. 

#SorryNotSorry