aWKWARD eVENING . . . .

AWKWARD !

MIDORI

Me & David lol

Awww David & Dori

showing off his new ring from Dori . . .

typical black ppl pose LMFAO

THIT DAY OUT... was just really awkward lol

YESTERDAY . . . .

FIRST I had to wear my lil cousins size 8 dress (i'm like a 12/13, 14/15 foreal) , it was the only outfit in her closet that fit me without ripping it when i sat down . . .

SECOND We hung out with her bf David and his friend Patrick . . .so it was like there was 2 third wheels, ya Digg ?

AND THIRD, DUDE look at these pics, that dress was freaking TIGHT, and we ended up walking around the mall before we ate. It was like a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen, lol, but crisis diverted lol

BUT, it did look kinda cute with the sweater AND I did get a few laughs out of that evening lol.

pARTY !

It was a lovely evening. . .the theme of the party was CARRABEAN !

Aunt Cheryl turned 50!
Everyone looks sooo pretty in there dresses and summer attire. I even got a new dress for the even. Its one of those one size fits all, wear multiple way dress/skirt things lol. I really do have a lovely family.

ME !

i'm among giants . . . lol

me and my FUTURE cousin Jay

me and my cousin Whitney

me and my cousin Kellen

me and my cousin Christina

me & my cousin Alayna

me and my cousin Melanie

Melanie, Whitney, Ben, & Kellen

Aunt Cheryl and her girls . . .

everybody !

gREEN eYE's . .I wish lol

I've always wish my eyes were like my mothers. She has some of the prettiest eyes I've ever seen. There green and theres like gold and other colors in them . . GORGEOUS !

SOOOO I kinda have to make due with my DARK BROWN EYES. So instead of replacing my black liquid eye liner i decided that I would experiment with colors. I started with green. YAY

How do you think it looks?

cLASSROOM pOETRY !!!!

things I write while I space out in class . . . yeah I got feelings too . . .

You took the love I had for you, sufficated and killed it.I once look at your face and joy filled my heart, now I feel resentment and pain. I wish I could fix this but it's already been done.Our memories haunted.No dwelling on the past, it just wasn't meant to last.The magical spell that was cast, has faded, not meant to last.

Being in love, an unsure feeling at first.Not knowing if it's ok to let your guard down.To be expossed and vulnerable.Being free to let someone else in your heart and make a residence there.

I failed, never threw the towel in but was forced to give in.They mock me, without saying anything.They use there eyes, I can see what there thinking.I feel small, unimportant, alone, a faliure.

I wish I could make them see how wonderful I used to be. Show that flare that used to be there.I was once so light on my feet but weights have been put on me.I used to soar though the air now i'm burden by care.I could move so freely but someone has chained me at the feet.My knees are giving in, it's all coming to an end.My head in my hands, i'm so ashamed.I can feel their stairs but nobodies there.

Bored, can't focus on whats in frount of me.Your my permanant distraction.My peaceful place in all the choas of my mind.

She's still talking, talking but I stopped listening awhile ago.My mind on more enjoyable things.Your face tattooed on the backs of my eye lids. Your touch lingering on my skin.Your voice echoing in my ears canciling out all she says.Your love and care filling my heart and wrapping me in something only few people have ever felt. My thoughts only on you now, this focus can't be broken.

. . . . PLEASE COMMENT & FOLLOW . . . PLEASE & THANK YOU

sadly this still holds true for my life . . .

In my short life i've been called many things. I've been called weird, odd, unique, different, and the list goes one. Yet I have come to realize that I am not . . . special. Many people I know have some ability or something that makes them special. I mean I am not the type of person who usually blends into a crowd but at the same time im not the one you always notice or stands out either. I know that many people would debate what I am saying/typing. Most would say i'm good at the arts or good with children. Well that doesn't help too much when it comes to a career choice that i'd be able to stick with and be sucessful in. Most people I know would also tell me to STFU and be a designer or something of the sort. If only people knew me better. Thats another problem I have. I seem to be a very open person yet there is SO much in my life people don't know. If I wrote down simple questions that people I know SHOULD be able to answer many people I know would fail horribly. I don't have one person whos been close to me long enough to know everything about me because I don't keep close friends very well. They either betray me in very sad and horrible ways, I came along just a little to late, or they move away. Maybe one day i'll find a really good friend who doesn't move away, already have a best friend, or betray me. Maybe one day i'll find out whats special about me and I can let it shine and take me places. Maybe one day I won't be so scared to be the real me thats been hiding in the shadows for so long. Maybe one day I won't torture myself with my thoughts that I am forced to keep to myself. I keep looking for answers and everytime I come up empty handed. My life is so complicated for no reason at all. At times I wish I was "normal", but then at others times I wish I was stranger. I always feel stuck in the middle about everything in my life. Many times I hide behind things and people never really notice. I'll admit some people have come close to the truth but no. I've had to become quite an actress in dealing with my everyday life. I am quite the slick person when necessary. Yet I am getting tired of acting and putting on a show for the world. I know that many people who read this will be perplexed and confused by what I am saying while others will begin to finally see. That was kind of my whole point. . . .Basically

sUNDAY bEST , , , ,